Paula Goodspeed is American Idol suicide? The former TV show contestant was found dead outside of the home of Paula Abdul earlier today in what appears to be a suicide. Read more and see pictures and video here.

Paula Goodspeed is American Idol contestant that police have found dead outside of the home of Paula Abdul. Goodspeed auditioned for season five of the reality show and did not make it to Hollywood, despite her efforts singing Proud Mary. After her rejection, Goodspeed said that in hindsight she was not ready to put herself out there at the time.

“It’s very hard reading such awful things being written about yourself…or hearing things being said…not like a lot of people would understand what it’s like having so many haters, just because I made the mistake of trying out for a singing competition before I was ~even~ ready vocally, emotionally and physically. I have to believe there is something good about me…”

Paula Goodspeed is Paula Abdul’s Fan

As a biography, she first came on the radar at American Idol because of her Austin, Texas audition for the show in 2005. See that video below. She wore an interesting pink outfit and declared herself a fan of Paula Abdul. Apparently she was not kidding.

Ms. Goodspeed reportedly has a history of mental illness which caused her family concern for her safety.

On her MySpace page profile, she describes herself as 28 years old, originally born in Jamaica. Other media sources have described her as 30 years old from Thousand Oaks, California, which is where she now resides. She also self-describes herself as a Wiccan who seems to have an affinity for the Wizard of Oz movie. This is not the same Paula Goodspeed who is a real estate agent in San Bernadino County.

During the audition, Ms. Goodspeed gave her own rendition of “Proud Mary,” which was once sung by Paula. Simon made a seering comment in his usual style about her braces that was not forgotten: “How did she get through the metal detector?”

She writes about the post-audition trauma and that specific comment in one of her blog entries:

It’s very hard reading such awful things being written about yourself…..or hearing things being said….. not like alot of people would understand what it’s like having so many haters , just because I made the mistake of trying out for a singing competition before I was even ready vocally, emotionally and physically.

I have to believe there is something good about me…..

Simon made that comment about my braces 5 months ago in Sept. 05 and now …since the show aired this month (Feb. 06), theres been soo many people bashing me for having braces, as if “I am the only person on national television that wears braces”!!!!!!

I think some people just need to grow up…or save that kind of stuff for the playground.

Soo, thats my story!! Better luck next time, I guess……